It is absolutely ridiculous that we have been together that long, and married for all but six months of that, it really is. As time goes on I have less and less wisdom to share about building a healthy happy marriage, but not because we're not healthy and happy.
All of the wise counsel, all of the philosophising about the nature of love, none of it helped in the really tough almost-impossible times of hopeless crying, and in all of these peaceful growing comfortable times I don't often think to affirm that I'm happy and things are good.
The biggest conclusion I have come to in fourteen years is that happiness depends primarily on putting in the deep hard work to not behave badly towards people ourselves, and on being lucky. That's it. We can't change other people or force them to accept the ways in which we change.
We're still doing this thing together, growing up a bit along the way, and trying to always be a bit kinder and a bit more generous with each other. It's still just as wonderful as that teenage love-at-first-sight.
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