I'm still setting aside projects and picking up something else, over and over again. Jenna's shawl is waiting for cables. Talia's coat is waiting for its button. I'm knitting back and forth on an experimental ribbon toy thingy that I planned to be finished with weeks ago. But at least I have lots to read. Okay that's an exaggeration, because these all arrived two days ago and I read them all within twelve hours. I have new fanfiction to read. That's good enough for me. :)
* * *
You guys, this was ten years ago.Ten.Years. I was horrendously sick (again), pregnant with Morgan, and I felt like my life was simultaneously coming together and falling apart. I still feel like my life is simultaneously coming together and falling apart, and I look about that much pregnant even though I'm not, and I honestly feel like nothing has changed in any essential way and I sort of thought I would have my life a bit more together by 31.
I mean, the sort of together where you don't phone HMRC the day after the tax credit deadline to sort out the renewal. The sort of together that does laundry before we run out of pants. That sort of together.
Alas...
In ten years I have learned to knit, and stopped wishing I was an artist and started claiming the fact that I already am because I can't not create and it doesn't even matter if almost all of it sucks and I have no idea what I'm doing.
In another ten years maybe I won't feel so much like an overgrown kid trying to fake being competent at things. Or maybe I will. Hopefully I'll still be able to take it all on one moment at a time, one stitch at a time.
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