1: Gradients, because yarn makes things better (always)
2: Changed over Winter decorations in a fit of pique at it being rainy and bitterly cold, having a sick kid on a day I wanted to see people, and generally feeling blue
3: Stacking things
4: Birthday walk
5: The lights in town, photographed by a giddy Jenna
6: Snuggly not-a-baby excited about stickers
7: There's this Christmas fayre we go to every year which I loved as a child and tolerate as an adult. The children adore it, of course. Compensation in the form of vintage tea set.
8: Basically after two huge meltdowns this week (mine) I gave up and we decorated on the first Sunday in Advent. It worked. Prettying things and familiar traditions helped a lot.
I need a calmer week.
Beneath everything this week has been huge painful anxiety about Morgan. She was ill on Monday and better on Tuesday, but continued to refuse any solid food all week. Eventually I told her she had to have a bite of food every hour and her appetite gradually returned. I can't accurately describe the heartbroken sobbing every time I stood over her and insisted she ate something, but goodness, she was so floppy and listless. I'm not yet really able to sort it out into words. And I feel like a failure for coercing her AND for not coercing her sooner. But also so grateful she's perky again and asking for food.
What a week.
So sorry you're feeling unsettled. I wanted to say it ebbs and flows.
ReplyDeleteFor me at least. I don't try to chrat it- I try to remember all the times it did not screw everything up, and think- "Why should today be different? Let' just go!" Not sure if that helps? I was as you've described Morgan for nearly 30 days after having my last baby. In the end, husband hovered as you did- and I don't think the emergency room or anyone else cared as much as he did that day. That was what I needed. (Plus some antibiotics- picked up a stomach bug in the delivery somehow). It's ok- thankfully- she's better and next time (God forbid!) you've got that for reference. We really are sometimes too brutal with ourselves...parenting is sometimes hard, adulting is too. aim for perfect, be ok with less than that��☺️ Sending much love and a virtual cup of your favourite tea Xx