The second week in a fortnight of early shifts is always long and trying. This has been no exception. We're all tired. The day revolves so much around getting through ordinary tasks and ensuring everyone gets to bed on time. None of us are good at 6am starts and none of us settle easily to sleep at 7pm.
This week we're also slowly but surely saying goodbye to my brother and his lovely little family. Paul went to Estonia at seventeen. At twenty-one he married an Estonian (my sweet sister in law Maarja). They came back over here a year or so later, had a little boy here, my children's first cousin on my side of the family. Next week, 35 weeks pregnant, Maarja will fly back to Estonia with little Joshua and my mum to accompany them in case of a crisis. Paul and my dad will leave a day later to drive their furniture overland.
I completely support their reasons for going, but I'm going to miss them so much. It seems so bloody far now with children. It's beyond hard.
I'm also facing a lot of guilt over not having made the most of these few years we had together. All of this time around the corner from each other and we've taken it for granted. Family life is so busy and it's easy to not make time to physically show up and love the heck out of each other while geography isn't an issue.
I'm just wishing for more time.
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